today i watched as history was made. it is amazing to be able to say that...i think so anyways. i mean, really you always hear about...oh i was here when this happened and to finally be able to say when i have kids or something that i was able to see the first african american was president of the united states.
i really don't have much else to report on...i worked at camp all weekend and 3 days last week. should be getting a nice sum of money in a week. thank goodness. i also talked a lot about the summer..and there are 3 options i have. none of which involve actually living at home. one is to move to new.orleans and work there as a waitress or bar tender or something along those lines...but it would be so great to live in the "real world" with ryan and just have a summer away from drama, plus get to spend some legit time together as well as possibly have a few days to road trip to florida..and i talked to my parents today and shockingly were 100% ok with it...i mean, there are definitely some logistics we would need to figure out, such as where i would work, and what exactly i would do if ryan went off shore//see how musty felt about it seeing as he is ryan's roommate.
the second option would be to work at camp again...hopefully somehow getting hook to give me a nice bit of money, and ryan keeps talking about how he wants to come back as well..the only downfall is once i say i am going i can't back down if for some reason he can't because of work, and in all i would be really upset if i couldn't be with him...which i am sure sounds like the only reason i want to work at camp is to be with him, but it isn't..i love it there, and i love the kids..but i really want to spend time with him because things have been getting serious with us..talking about crazy things like once i graduate school and everything, which in reality i know i have a long time before things get legit serious...but i want to spend as much time with him as i can. and it sucks that the summer is the only time we can do it.
and then my 3rd choice is working at camp ma.son. my brother went there last summer, and the programs itself cost about double of what our programs cost..2 weeks, which is how long their sessions are..they are about 1200 just in the like general camp programs. so i am applying there, mainly to see how much i would be making, plus i've always wanted to try another camp but i've been so scared that i wouldn't like it...and would end up missing my camp, my cmapers, my lake..you know. and it is a boy girl camp..which i've always wanted to experience. but who knows..so i figure i'd apply..see what the pay is, and if it is more i could always just be like, look this camp is giving me more than you...so either give me this much or peaceeee.
and i need to figure it out soon. i mean, moving to new.orleans would be AMAZING. it would be a great opportunity and everything, but it also scares the shit out of me. a new city, no friends, living with ryan....it sounds so exciting too! i am planning a visit to nola for spring break..it is only 175 for a flight right now, and since i have the money i am planning on buying the ticket asap. i can't even begin to imagine how that is going to go, but it makes me excited thinking of it..to finally see where he lives, and meet all these people i've awkwardly talked to on the phone//video chat. haha. and it just makes me even more of a part of his life...which makes me so happy. and after our visit we hadover christmas break, it just makes me happy to know that everything is just as strong with us as it was when we first started dating. and yeah we've had our tough times, but after 2 and a half years [the 25th!!] who wouldn't have tough times...but after all of it we've become sooo much stronger because of it..and i wouldn't do anything to change the stuff we've been through.
i feel like all of this was just a bunch of ramblings, but i don't know..i feel like this year is just about experiencing new things...a new school, a sorority, a new job, and now maybe a new home for the summer? who knows...all i know is i am pretty happy with everything right this second, except for being away from ryan...
so here's to figuring out a bit of my life in the next few months.....
4 comments:
I think that if you are really serious about ryan and seeing where this relationship might take you then spending the summer in orleans would be a great thing for you guys because 1. It's a short period of time so it's not like some huge commitment on your life. 2. It'd be easier on you guys to be able to spend the summer together without some stupid restrictions on your time dictating when and where you guys can hang out and with whom. It'd also be easier on your relationship to be away from all the drama that comes with camp (and all the jcs pining after your boytoy) 3. I think a year (at LEAST) away from camp would do everyone some good-kind of like a retreat to decide if it's still what you want to be doing and if you're still doing it for the right reasons.
Either way I just want you to be happy and I think being with Ryan is the best way to do it-and hey being a big girl with a real job doings big kid things would be good for you!
anyways i love you.
omg, love the header. i love that everyone has redesigned their blog in the last week.
i'm all about trying out a new camp. as much as i love clhh, it was an amazing experience to see how another camp was, to meet new people and to expand your comfort zone. it can be tough, but rewarding. and it is a ycamp, not bs.
have fun with whatever you choose :)
yay, i'm excited that you get to visit ryan in new orleans... i've always wanted to explore that place.
goodluck making the decision about this summer...it sounds like it will be a tough one, but just remember, whatever you do, do it for yourself and no one else. (what i mean by that is, do what you think will make YOU happy).
love!
Hmm - I think that either going to NOLA or working at a new camp are your best options. Going to NOLA and actually having a relationship that is completely on your terms would be really good for you guys. No curfew to break and no crappy cots to sleep on (well, i mean, it is Ryan so I wouldn't put it past him to have a crappy cot down in NOLA haha!) If you work at a new summer camp I think you'll find that 1: you have tons of useful skills that apply everywhere you go and 2: you will make some new friends and learn new stuff that you wouldn't have learned otherwise.
Either way, do something new this summer! your new school is working out really well, so keep up the new!! :)
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