does it even matter to you?

i don't think i can do this much longer. i am so tired of feeling like this. and i am so tired of feeling like everything is somehow always my fault. sometimes i wonder if i am holding onto the past so much that i can't see what is right now. and i think that is what i am doing. and it sucks. but at the same time i am just SO tired of whatever this dance is that we are doing to avoid each other's feelings. so basically i am done. i am tired. and i can't always be the person you want me to be.