who are you?

currently, there are people reading my blog from 4 different countries and 4 different states, and in those states, people from different parts. which is interesting to me. some of you i know, some of you i might now, and some of you i don't know. some of you check it everyday while others randomly check it. it makes me smile none the less. that people are reading what i have to say...

recently i was confronted by someone, and they asked me why i don't like it here. and i was somewhat taken back by that comment... because i do like it here, i am just and this point in my life where so many things are changing that it is making it hard for me to focus on the NOW instead of the future. i keep talking about going to school in the fall, and i don't want to give the wrong impression away...i LOVE that i am going to be going to school in VA, but i also am really enjoying my time here. right now nothing exciting is happeneing. i have 3 papers due by the 12/13 of march... and it is just a lot to take in...and i have been really sick lately, i am pretty sure i never fully got over Mono, and it is basically coming back to haunt me. i can't sleep when i am supposed to, aka at night, and when i do i have these weird dreams, but during the day i can sleep forever, weird i know, but anyways--i just want to throw it out there, i like it here..i just havent ben travelling and up to doing a lot of things because i havent been feeling good....

second, its leap year! i dont know why but this always makes me laugh. once every 4 years there is a february the 29th. WEIRD. i don't really get it, but it makes me smile to write that on my papers today when i was in class. hehe..

so, speaking of class--i was in class on Monday, i had a seminar [discussion class, which had 8 people vs the lecture which has about 50] and you talk the whole time with the professor. there was me, a scottish boy, 3 welsh people and 3 people from England, so a very good mixture...i LOVE my american experience class. SO much. it was the best choice taking this class...so the topic of seminar was "What makes American's American..?" like what shaped america into giving it what it is today. and at first i sat there listening to what everyone was saying, one girl said the american revolution, another said the declairation of independence, another said that we were overly patriotic especially when 9/11 happened and she was going off about 9/11 [which i was not happy about with what she was saying, actually i was very put off by her.] now--i sat there, being it the first seminar we all had together, i didnt say anything...i wanted to see what they had to say before they knew i was american..finally the teacher, who knew i was american said that i was being too quiet and needed to speak up. [i also was not really sure what to say, i had never thought of this question before, and was slightly flustered by it...] so i said well, i really liked listening to what everyone else had to say because i am american and i said i feel like the Civil War had a huge part to do with the reasons Americans are the way we are, i wasn't entirely sure why either, other than the fact that it almost broke our country apart, but eventually we were able to come together.
the professor thought that was interesting, and then i responded to him by saying that it just surprises me how in the south the still wave their confederate flags and everything like that, and i had mentioned i was from new jersey, and being a northern state, it is just odd to see that when i go south still....which is where the topic of the flag waving came into play...apparently people over here think we sing our national anthem everyday all the time, and every single house has an american flag, and to them it is odd....well, i was very confused by this-first off, why is it weird to wave a flag outside of your house, and second, no one sings the national anthem unless you are at a sporting event...then the scottish boy said something along the lines of well, in Scottland we have more pride than the English do, and the Welsh girl said the same thing...and they asked if the states have different flags, which we do, but aren't as big as the american flag, unless you live in Texas or California or something...cause who has a New Jersey flag..? i dont, but i am damn proud to be from new jersey. and the boy asked me if it was a big deal what state you are from. and i went on to say that for me, i am proud to say when people ask me where i am from that i am from jers. especially when i was at school in arizona...
anways, we went on to talking and it hit me why americans are so proud to be american...it was because at one time or another our families came over here looking for something, whether it be religious freedom, or to get "the american dream" or to escape famine..everyone came over here looking for something, everyone came from somewhere else and settled in A.M.E.R.I.C.A...they couldnt come over and strictly be german, or irish, or english. they were in america now and had to fall under and believe in this one thing. and the rest of the group just kinda sat there...kinda flustered. but the professor looked at me and was like, that is the exact answer i was looking for, it isn't so much the history and the wars, although they played a role in it...

anyways, that question really made me think. like, what makes me who i am... i dont know, this class just really gets me thinking, and i love that. so who are you? what makes you american? or what makes you you..?

because the things that make me me are: being from new jersey, going to girlscout camp, experiencing this right now, having gone to school in az, my family being so close to me throughout my life, having the friends i have, playing field hockey all through my life...and having people in my life that support me..no matter how crazy my new plans are....

i dont really know or care if this post made any sense..but it just seemed so fascinating to me...