smells of spring.

today is a very windy day. but super sunny. and i like it. i walked outside and it just smelled...like spring. i dont know if that makes sense. but every year, there is one day i walk outside. and it smells like spring. and there is a day i walk outside and it smells like summer. and then there is one where it smells like fall. and quite possibly my favorite is the one i step outside and it smells like winter. i love this smell. where it just smells so intense. and it might be because the air is so cold and crisp, but i am not sure what causes it. but those smells make me remember that there is always a chance for change, and new opportunities, and that if you don't like something change it..when i smelled spring today, it made me smile. because that means summer. and i am excited for summer and fall. not that i am not excited about the next few months here, because i am..it just i talked to mom last night. and she made everything make sense...

i will be attending randolph-macon for the last years of my undergraduate degree. i decided last night. it's not official yet, i still have to send in my papers, but that is where i am going to go. i dont think i was this excited about getting into a school either time i applied to schools, i mean don't get me wrong, i was so excited to get into Lynchburg & NAU, the first time around...and then when i got into Cabrini i danced around my room like a little kid for about 10 minutes and then called roo where we then screamed on the phone for about another 10 minutes about me gettting into a school on the east coast...

i don't know what it is about this school that makes me so happy. i think it might be the endless possibilities of starting over. i mean, there were things i loved about NAU..the mountains, Jessica, being so close to Sedona.. but there are so many things i would have done over in the beginning. and now i feel like i get to start over again, and it is going to be difficult and challenging, but isn't that what adventures are all about.

i feel like i am learning so much about myself lately. i mean, i stood up to my dad and told him i didnt care what i had to do, i was not going back to school in arizona. i just was tired of not being happy. and then i basically didn't even think about studying abroad and went ahead and did it. and i love this opportunity i am getting. and now i am going to school in virginia. i mean, i am such a lucky person to get to experience everything i am. but what i really want is the chance to have that place again..you know, the one i talked about in the last entry. i was reading something about how someone else more or less HAD to leave that place for them, and how they missed it. and i just..i need that again i think. and people like that..i need a new group. and i hope that is what i find at randolph-macon. i really do...and if not, then how great to get to go to school in virginia?! :)

i guess i am just excited cause i know i am in for a big change, and i am very optimistic about it. and i am hoping that this time around college is everything i want it to be. and i am going to do my best to make it that way...

i was talking to someone about the summer last night. and i have very mixed feelings about it...i really want to know who is going to make up the admin team. i really hope it will be people who will be there to make camp the best for the kids. because that is what it is all about..and i feel like staff hasn't been there for the kids, but rather for themselves and their friends. it is just the way i have been seeing it change in the last few years. and i mean, don't get me wrong, i love the fact that my best friends work at camp with me, and that i get to spend 6+ weeks with them, but they aren't the reason i am there. and neither is ryan. and i have had so many people tell me i am only at camp for ryan. and i hate that...because i have been coming to camp since i was 7. and he's only been in my life for a year and a half. so..even though he is there, and i love the fact that he is there, he isn't why i work there. in any way. so i really hope no one ever tells me i am at camp for the wrong reasons ever again. because it has to be one of the most painful things you can ever say to me..

anyways, last night i decided that a)i am going to school at randolph-macon b)i am working at camp again c) i can not wait for this new part of my life to start and d) i am definitely going to new orleans before camp. which also means i will be at home for a small 6 days before i head down to new orleans, and then straight to camp. boooo. but this summer i am spending time at home. with the kids. and the homefries. because i realized how important dev tim and roo are to me. and i need them as more of a constant in my life.

i will update in a bit on when sis came to visit...
but for now, i just wanted to get all this out there. because i have a head full of randomness and thoughts lately..
ok, love from wales..
kellycrumbs.