it has been a while since i've sat down to write in here. i feel like it was another life actually. not that i have been busy, but i just feel like writing about things make them a reality sometimes. not that it is a bad thing, just i am trying to avoid my real life at the moment seeing as it is me doing a whole lot of nothing and avoiding my life...but i will get to that in a little bit i am sure.
sometimes i have a hard time to get out what i wanna talk about, but to be honest this is one of the only things i have to vent about life and it seems crazy as it is just a blank page when i begin, but being able to look back on so many things in my life a few years later is awesome. to remember the exact feeling i had during something or to have a place to remember something i forgot about.
so a brief bit about my life now...
alabama: i finished up the semester on a good note, a really good note. the last 2 weeks we had a 4 day and then a 5 day group and i absolutely loved my 5 day group. they were rough the first day, just really talkative and everything but i really did have a great 5 days with them and i was so happy to end on them and not a terrible group. the 13 6th graders were a blast and we laughed a larger portion of our time together than me being angry at them, which was a plus. it was weird packing up and leaving bama cause who knows when i will be back and when i will see all my friends from alabama. but i really did enjoy my last week there. which is a positive thing because of how shitty some parts of the semester were. but it always sucks to say goodbye. our last 24 hours was a blast, as always with nc staff, we go big or go home. literally...we got out of work at about 4 and then we had to clean our house, which took years, and pack. which included me and julia blasting some justin timberlake and other great music as we were packing, and then sus and lar took everyone out to dinner, which was amazing cause we went to wildflower :) YUM. best food i ate in alabama for sure! and then we went to adams and we had a lovely going away party time. then me and julia had a lovely adventure trying to get her car jumped because her battery died. and then we headed to birmingham cause i flew outta there. we obviously stopped 2 times in the 2 hour trip though...i am gonna miss car rides with her and just chats about life. but i know i am gonna see her again, no doubts there. i got to the airport 4 hours early, wooo. got to sit in the airport and then my flight was late and had to run through the airport to get my next flight in charlotte. eek. it was crazy. but gosh, nothing is better than seeing all the lights of nyc from the sky and knowing that you are home. it is probably the best feeling in the world. hands down. i cannot describe to anyone the amazingness of that sight. it takes my breath away every single time. and makes me so happy..
home: well, now that i have been home for a few weeks, already--jeez the time flies for real... it has had ups and downs. sissy wasn't supposed to be home. but she is. she broke herself and had to move home for the next monthish or so, which is not the best situation any of us could have asked for. it is nice to see her, but we haven't done much and we don't get along very well, but you just need to make the best of all situations right? exactly. but me and brother have been hanging out a lot, which is always hilarious. we've been exploring in the woods since it has been ridiculously warm lately--seriously winter where are you? i wanna see me some SNOW. but i love seeing my family, it has been so nice. i really am so blessed to be so close to my aunt and my babies and the rest of my family.
work: eh there is not much to say here. working at camp here and there and making some money wrapping presents for some family, but i have an interview in january for this job i really want doing the same thing that i was doing in alabama. so who knows. fingers crossed :) in the mean time i am looking for some lame job to just keep me busy and i am finally getting my stuff for subbing together, i should have done it this summer, but we all know how i like to procrastinate..
life: in general i have no idea what i am doing or what my plans are, i am kinda going on the fly just trying to figure out what want to do with my life and what my options are. it kind of scares me that i really don't have any plans as of right now and it makes me nervous because i am 24, when am i going to find out what i want to do with my life? i know for sure i want to do something that will make me happy and not a boring desk job, but i am willing to do that if it means money for right now, but i mean, i want to do something that matters. i want to do something that will change lives. i just don't know what that is yet, and i am starting to feel like i never will... but hey, everything works out right?
i saw this quote and feel like it fits perfectly into this new change in my life and the feeling of uncertainty....
side note: also changed everything cause i realllllly got bored and needed something new :)
”If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart… where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again.”
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