struggling

4 more days. that is it. and then i am done. but here i sit legitimately struggling to keep the pieces together. i am laying in my bed and i don't know how i am going to make it the next few days. i know that seems insane. four more days is legitimately nothing but this group is absolutely terrible and i am with them all week. management wise things are the worst they have been i feel like and i am just tired of feeling like i am being tossed around. i just want to cry. i have to leave this place, it brings me down, it brings out the worst in me. it makes me angry. so unbelievably angry actually. i feel like i have panic attacks during work because i dont know the answers to what i am doing next sometimes. i feel like i am having one right now just thinking of how angry this job makes me. i love actually doing what i do, but the behind the scenes thing are so ridiculous. i just want to cry. i want to be able to just break down. i know that seems dumb, but i have so many emotions about it being the last week and moving back home that i don't know how to deal with it. i feel like i am struggling to keep myself together. i want to be able to talk about how excellent my life is again. i want to smile all the time. i want to be as happy as i am during the summers. i NEED to find something that makes me that happy, but i am just so unsure as to how to do that. i think that is what is really making this week seem like it is going to be terrible. i just i dont know if i have a full four days left in me....