willy

i also wanted to write another post because today is one of my best friends birthdays. he is 24 today. he held my hand when i cried in 2nd grade at his party when fruit punch got spilled on me, he was the first boy i fell for, he talked me through some really rough times at our 2am aol im convos, he promised me things would be okay when i hated arizona, he told me every boy i date better meet his standards and he did it all with the biggest smile on his face and the most amazing heart of any boy i've ever known. will, i hope today is a good birthday. i hope you are laughing and remembering all the good times. i miss you with all of my heart every single day. here's to you and being the best person i may have ever known. i hope i get to see you tonight in my dreams, come visit me soon babe, it's been too long...

i am starting to forget his voice. i don't remember his laugh. i haven't seen him in my dreams for months. all i want is to see him again, to remember his laugh or his voice. i feel like i am losing him. i don't feel him around me anymore. it is the worst feeling i can think of. i wish he was here to talk to about life, and to see what amazing things he would be doing with his life. i wish this got easier, but it doesn't and it still hurts. every day.