private?

i LOVE that random people read my blog. i think it is cool to see that people all over the world and all over the country read it. and i know cause i have this thing that says where people read it from.. Australia, Senegal, Scotland, England, Indiana, Texas...the list can go on and on.
but there are people who i DO NOT want to know what is going on in my life. for so many reasons i just CAN'T have it going on anymore. i am being me when i write in here. this is totally me, and how i feel. i mean, i basically spilled my heart out when i write about sorority things. [literally still feels like my heart got ripped out..just saying..] and i hate that certain people read this. does that make me a b*tch? yeah sure why not. but i don't care.
so i am thinking about making this private...
but i am not sure. what do you think? i mean it is really only one person i don't want to be reading this. but why should i change everything for them? hmm.. just keeps me thinking that is all.

anyways, in other things..
i miss Will more than words. with everything going on he is the ONE person i really and truly want to talk to. i think about him all the time, everyday. sometimes in class when i am day dreaming i can hear his laugh... i just want him to know how much everyone really did love him. i still can't get over everything that happened to him. i don't understand why he did what he did. i guess i never really will either. none of it still adds up though, which i think makes it even worse... i feel like these things never make sense, but if you knew him you would know that him doing that WAS NOT HIM. in any way. 5 years ago if you had told me this was going to happen i would have said you were absolutely insane. because Will wasn't like that. i don't know. he has just been on my mind so incredibly much lately. sometimes i dream about him. and his image is always so vivid in my dreams, it is like he is really there. and when i hear him talk, i always start to cry in my dream and he walks towards me and always seems to want to hug me but can never get to me. i miss him. and it hurts. everyday. i just want him to know that i loved him. and his mom told me he did that day...but it still it doesn't make it better i guess. i just hate that he was taken away from me so soon. i wanted him to be there for the big days, since he has always been there for them, you know what i mean....i miss you Will, and i hope you are looking down on your family cause i know that you meant the world to them. love you kid.

ok, i am done with being sad about that now. i am going to read a bit then hopefully sleep, even though i've been sleeping all day because of a terrible migraine.. xoxo