sleeep.

so the one thing i miss right now above anything else is that feeling, the one you get after you've had the best, most fun-filled, eventful, [good or bad] hot, sweaty, walked up and down waterfront hill at least twice, tired kind of day. i want to feel like i actually accomplished something other than just homework. i love that feeling of pure exhaustion. i love being able to be able to fall asleep without even hesitating because you are so physically tired. i love it.

i wish i had it now. because i haven't been able to sleep at all. on the weekends i can, but i cant sleep before 2 or 3..then on the weekends i sleep til noon...but i am just tired, and SO wide awake. i am writing a paper, even though it isnt due til thursday, but i just can't sleep so i should do something productive...right?? well, i did change this whole blog color around. i did it to my other diary too. i just am bored with my life right now i think.

i also miss arizona. my friends and the place. weird, i know. but i legit miss it. i was looking at pictures a girl from camp took of the grand canyon, and i was like, i miss it!!! and now i am talking to court and it is making me sad cause i havent seen her in ages and we barely talk now, we are both terrible at this whole keeping in touch thing. and i mean i talk to jessica all the time, but i miss her every day pretty much. she is one of the best friends i've ever had. and it makes me so mad about spencer. i wanna punch him in the face and beat him a lot pretty much. ugh.... i just miss when my life seemed semi-easy. and i think that is the last time it was other than at camp... even though i was miserable, i was doing well in school, was very on track, had my friends, and i dont know...i think that life just made more sense out there--here everything just confuses me so much more. i dunnnnno. i'm just weird...

ok, back to writing this paperrr.