fingers crossed.

i have finished my application for cityyyear. i am so nervous now it is just a waiting game. both my references told me that they have mailed in the papers they filled out. so just waiting to i guess get a phone call from here. i am SO excited and nervous. this job is exactly what i want and i do not really know what i want to do if i do not get this job, so i am beyond nervous about everything from here. i find out dec 17th about the job either way, so i get to have a phone interview and then i suppose i will find out. it is just crazy i guess to me, being done with school so soon...so fingers crossed i get this job...

i have had dreams about will lately, i love them. i don't ever want them to end. sometimes i wake up and i try to fall right back asleep so i keep having the same dream, i know that is silly...but i dont ever see the end of the dream coming and i never get to say goodbye and i hate that...so i always want to go back and do it. i miss him so so much...

life is just weird lately. not a good weird and not a bad one. i guess i am just trying to figure out how to live again and how to feel things again, i feel like i walked around in a blob this summer and i forgot how great it was to really feel until lately. i just cannot wait to get to the point where i am happy about something and have something great to look forward to again...