the colors are all meaningful: okayy.

there has been so much going on, sorry if this is very boring, it is going to be about New Orleans, Christmas break, school, Pa and life... womp womp womp..

so, i went to New Orleans for a little trip, but mainly to drive back north with Ryan and it was fun, i got there on Wednesday at 10:30 am and Ryan was there waiting for me :) it was soooo good to see him and be there. we went back to his apartment and Joe was there and so was Eric, his friend who he kept talking about so i was really happy to be able to meet him. so the 4 of us hung out and played wii and drank and then Joe's girlfriend came over, and we hung out all night. it was fun, i always enjoy a night in with them. and the next day we cleaned Ryan's car and got it ready and went shopping for some food and drinks for the trip :) and then the next day we got his car ready and went to the mall and such and then Saturday we left for up north. I love going down to New Orleans, i just feel happy when i am there. and I really can not wait until I move down there, which will hopefully be when i graduate.

So, then there was the road trip..haha, we left New Orleans around 9am on Saturday morning and it was GORGEOUS outside! about 65 degrees and sunny, i was wearing jeans a tshirt and flip flops and was comfy, well..we drove through New Orleans, hit Mississippi, i saw where Ryan is thinking about buying a house soon, [Picayune, MS] got to Alabama and we stopped to use the bathroom and get gas and it was SO incredibly cold! haha, it was about 45 degrees and we were not even that north! So then we drove through the rest of Alabama and a small bit of Georgia and then Tennessee [i was really excited because i have never been to Tennessee!] and that is where we hit the snow..dun dun dun. there was a huge snowstorm that swept the east coast, there was about 12 inches or so in Tennessee where we stopped for the night. parts of 81 [which we were on for about 700 miles or something crazy!] so the next day we got up and it said about 8 hours cause we did a little over 10 hours the first day and 81 was so incredibly backed up all through Virginia, it was TERRIBLE!! but we eventually made it back to Ryan's house and in all, it was an awesome 2 day trip =)

it was so exciting to see how happy Ryan and his family were to see each other, it had been a year since they had all been together and what made it even better was that Nana was there from England. anyways, it was nice to be sitting in the fireside room that night and catching up with them. and Maggie and Louie were so so so excited to see Ryan. mag went crazy, I've never seen her so happy. haha. we spent a few days at his house and then we went up to jersey to spend some time with my family, but also because i needed to be home on Christmas! but we did end up going out one night which was fun, we went to the pub up the road from my house and we got to see a bunch of my friends from Green and Roo and a few others, and then we went out to Boomers with boss lady and it was veryyy fun that night! we also saw texy haha, it was very fun and in all a pretty fabulous night! My Christmas was nice, got some gift cards, some sorority things and thats about it. but it was a really nice Christmas spent with family, a little sad though but that will be explained in the Pa section of this..anyways, the next day Ryan was supposed to come up, but he ended up not coming, which was annoying. but my aunt and her family came up to drop off my other grandma who lives in Pennsylvania and they came over for a bit, me and brother and our 2 cousins played some wii mario brothers [which may be the most amazing game ever and i now want a wii just because of that one game.] so the next day i ended up driving down to Ryan's house and we went to see Sherlock Holmes that night which was amazing! i loved it! and then we hung around his house a bit and then on Tuesday night a few family friends of his family from church came over to see Ryan and meet me, it was a little nerve racking because i HATE meeting important grown ups. haha, but i knew Lindsay who came so that was nice. but it was in all a fun night. the next day we went up to my house and it was nice to be home, i feel like i didn't spend much time at home though. anyways, we hung out around home and such and then one night we went to the pub with sister and that was funny because we walked there and it was FREEZING out! and we had a few drinks and then frolicked back home. the next night was new years eve and we went to Hoboken to Cory's house, which was awesome and so much fun! Jasper and Brady were there and then the two of us =) a very fun night! played some card games and other games and drank a whole lot and ate some lovely dip. and i just had a superb time playing with my friends! and i had some great heart to hearts with Jasper and Cory =) i missed them after this summer! the next day we were super hung over and went to go snow tubbing with Maddie Toby and Jon but we got there like 5 minutes too late and they were all sold out! so we ended up sitting outside making fun of all the people wiping out as the were coming down the mountain! then we went to dinner with them and it was nice =) we also visited Pa before we left to head back to Ryan's house and saw Grammie and Scott while we were there which was nice and then we headed back to cville to Ryan's house. Didn't do much while we were there again, only there for the night because i was headed back to school the next day...

So i am back in school now, ugh. taking an Australian Film class, which is actually kind of exciting. but it is 4 hours a day and kind of boring at times, but we have seen some films i really like...

Ryan came to visit on Tuesday the day he was headed back to New Orleans =( i very much enjoyed having him here for the night. we went to dinner and then came back and watched a movie and went to bed early so that he would be awake to drive the next day and around 11 he left on Wednesday right before my class. i was so so sad. we had to say goodbye because we had been together almost everyday since the 16th of December. so to say the least it is weird with him not being here. everything felt awesome when we were together. i really can not describe how happy i am when i am with him. i just feel like i am able to completely be myself and have fun and i don't know, i love waking up in his arms and seeing him so much. it is terrible not having him around sometimes i can't stand it. it isn't that i only want to move down to NOLA because of him, because after being there the week in march i WANT to go down there and teach. i know, it probably sounds crazy but i really and truly want to. i want to do teach for america or something like it. and i want to be with Ryan too. so it basically works out perfectly. anyways, i miss him terribly now. i miss the way he makes me smile and not being able to get a hug when i want one. but only a few more months really...right? anyways, i couldn't have asked for a better time with him, NOLA, road trip, Christmas, visiting VA.. and on top of all that i got an awesome Christmas present--a ring from tiffany's =) and he got an ipod. good Christmas for both of us =)

so, my Grandpa [Pa] has been really sick for a long time now, seems like i can't remember a time when he was doing well, but it's been since 10th grade i think.. and it got really bad after Thanksgiving. not only is his Alzheimer's bad, but he was in the hospital and to be honest, i didn't know if i would be able to see him again before I got home that is how worried I was. I don't really get much info because I am at school and i don't think my parents want me to worry, but he has always been important in my life. when i was little i was ALWAYS at my grandparents house. i would ask to go there and off i would go, they only lived down the road and when we moved they only lives 15 minutes away, so they have been a huge part in my life. especially Pa. him and i have been buddies since i was little. it is just so hard now because he doesn't know who I am anymore. he used to know, he used to know who Ryan was too. and it is terrible now. i look at him and he just blankly stares back at me. it hurts my heart a little bit. especially because now he is in a nursing home and he cannot walk anymore so he is in a wheel chair. i hadn't seen him since Thanksgiving and he was okay then, but spending time in the hospital wasn't good for him, he lost muscle in his legs and just can't walk so seeing him on Christmas was horrible. i wasn't expecting what i saw. i mean, he can barely feed himself. and it just was so incredibly sad. i don't know. i spent the first like half an hour at my aunts house on Christmas trying to hide from people because i was crying and then at the end of the night when Pa was leaving, i was holding Makenzie [she is my love bucket and is 4] and she was like, kel why are your eyes leaking and i said because i was just happy to be home and we went and gave Pa a kiss and a hug and Kenz goes, I hope Pa gets better because i love him a lot. and it literally broke my heart. it was just really sad and everybody knows that this was one of the last times we will all be together and it just hurts so bad because my family is so close and we are screwed up and nothing is ever going smoothly, but my family is still super close and i love them and i love us all being together. my heart just hurts knowing that Pa isn't going to be around for much longer. and seeing my grandma makes me sad because i can see it in her eyes and she talked to me about it on Christmas and it makes me sad.

anyways, that is all i have to say right now. sorry it was so long and sad at the end. but i can say that i had a great holiday season and i feel so lucky to have a great family and an amazing boyfriend....