babies.

miss makenzie kate. i love this girl.
baby erica! i can not wait to hold her.
the most precious thing i have ever seen, he is going to break hearts.. daniel john<3

it is this big brother's birthday today! patrick is 2! he is so big here!

i am sad, i just got about 30 pictures from my mom, and i cried looking at them all.

ok, so apart from the whole family thing i am feeling now---i just hate when people fight other people's wars. it really bothers me. it makes me really mad actually....

home.

i am tired. and i want to go home.

i feel like a spoiled little brat for saying that. but i just--i want to go home. this has been the most amazing experience i could have ever asked for. it has been one of the best times of my life. i never thought i would have gotten the opportunity to do any of this. but i am just tired. i feel like i constantly have to be happy about everything over here. and i mean, i am but it is getting to me, the not talking to people i care about. then when i do it is via e-mails or im's. i used to talk to my aunt every two or three days at home, and i miss her. she drives me crazy sometimes, but i really miss talking to her and hearing about how my babies are doing. and the funny gossip in my family. and i miss stupid things about america. like wal-mart. haha. and i miss my freakin cell phone. and i miss my kittylions. i think that it is getting to me cause all my friends are getting ready to head back home from school. but i don't get to =[ my baby lion.the view from my house <3my aunt<3<3

these kids mean the world to me.

and this would be my slightly not normal family. but i miss them.

ugh, ok i am done complaining about how much i miss home now.

x kellycrumbs.

woww.

i am at a loss for words right now..just wow.

wrist.

well, for those of you who know what happened to my wrist this summer, i would love to say that it is feeling fantastic, but it isn't... i feel like either between the constant lifting of my backpack or awkward places i slept over spring break i did something to it, cause it has just been constantly sore. i have been wearing my brace to bed since then because i have woken up in pain because of the odd ways i sleep. =/

this worries me for two reasons, one being it is my right wrist, i can not do anything with my left hand what-so-ever, and i am really hoping to get middies again this summer, but what if it hurts to canoe..? =[ and reason number two being i was hoping to play field hockey in the fall at RMC for their club team, and possibly trying out for their school team, but who knows.

anyways, i can't sleep. at all. lame-o. and Ryan isn't even around to entertain me tonight. silly boy with his silly job in silly new orleans. so, just ganna say i am somewhat getting annoyed with the situation for my summer job. still no clue on details. i called loki the yesterday to ask her something and she was at camp, and was en route to hook's house to get something or talk to hook and she was like let me stay on so maybe you will get your interview, well i spoke with her, but she said she would call today. it is now 3.53 am and still nothing...i just want to know how much money i am making so i can tell my momma. lame.

ok well, i am going to watch a movie. hope everyone is smiling today..
peace out girl scoutttt : )

pictures. rugby. papers.

so i have a paper due may 8th. its 2,500 words. for my post war reconstruction [1945-1952] class. i don't know which topic to do, and i have yet to even start researching. i hate when i do this. and i always say i am going to stay on top of my work, but clearly i fail miserably at this. go me.

i went to the rugby game yesterday. it was GORGEOUS out. thank god, cause in the morning it looked like it was going to pour. sadly, we lost = [ 19-9 lame cardiff. but it was super fun. i met up with melaney and reagan and then we went to the pub, got some food and beer, and then walked around cardiff for a little. then we went to the game, and it was so funny cause we had NO idea what was going on except we wanted the green and white team to win. and we cheered when everyone else did, and learned a few rules, but were still very confused. but it was fun. there was also 3 guys who decided to streak across the field, interesting to say the least....but they all got tackled by the security guards. very funny. in all in was a super fun afternoon and evening.

i talked to ryan last night for a while, but we like really talked about a lot of stuff, like he might not be visiting camp if certain people come back, and he is thinking about moving back home, and me visitings, and just about a lot of stuff, and it was a really good talk, we haven't had one of those in a while. and he talked to his momma and she said louie, one of his pups, got attacked by something, maybe a groundhog, and has a huge cut and had to get stitches and maggie, his other pup, killed it. cause maggie is my hero. and poor louie is on medicine and everything. oh he is so cute though. i miss his dogs. expecially maggie. and it is funny cause ryan has a picture of me on his night stand thingy and then there is a picture of the dogs. and i told him we need to make a copy of the picture of them for me. cause i miss themm. ahha.

oh, i also sent in all my paperwork for randolph-macon. so it is official..eeek! i am so excited for it. like, so so excited, but when i was mailing it in, i got really nervous. it is just going to be weird to start all over again, take 3. haha.

this is the team we wanted to win.

why did they get to lift 2 people but we only have one.? hmm, good question right?me and mel = ]

i apologize.

so to everyone who has to deal with me when i am drunk-i would honestly like to say i am very sorry. haha. with the time difference and the lack of talking to the people i care most about, when i have been drinking all i really want to do is talk to my friends. and drinking 2 bottles of wine with melaney does indeed get me drunk. haha..

you see, i have this group of friends, and we are all very confusing people. we have all made our mistakes and we have all at one point or another been in fights where we weren't talking to each other. but in the end, everything always works out and everything is ok. and i love them. more than i understand why sometimes. but then other times, i know that if they were not in my life, i would be a complete mess. and my life wouldn't be the same. i love the for all different reasons. one of the is like my protector. you fuck with me, she fucks with you. one of them is just there to listen to me complain about boys, other friends, shit at home, just life in general. and then there is one of them who just always makes me laugh. even when i am crying. and sometimes i don't know if they realize how much they mean to me. and the three of them, they just--they get me. and i hope i do the same for them..i miss being away from them. i miss being able to see them. and i miss the way we used to be before things got messy..but i wouldn't change the past, because it makes us who we are-just i miss being a kid sometimes and not having the worries of everything else going on in life.. and it makes me sad that we are so far apart from each other sometimes..but i love them with all my heart. and without them, i know my life would not be the same. so i just want to thank them for always being a part of my life...

ke11yx24: i am a mess over here without yoyu.
la esima7: i'm coming! i'm coming! i'll bring a mop too.
-one example of why i love them...

i am going to Cardiff later to watch cardiff vs swansea in rugby. apparently its a HUGE deal. and i am excited. i just don't really get rugby, even though i saw some games? matches? [i dk what they are called.] in the zone. i still don't get it. haha. should be fun though, hopefully it doesn't rainnn.

love from wales. x

money.

i hate money. mainly because everything over here costs double. especially food. i have never spent so much money on FOOD. and i hate that if you try and eat healthy then you mine as well just forget having any money. i spend about £40 a week on yogurt, fruit, sandwich stuff, juice, and granola bars or something along those lines. that is $80. RIDICULOUS.!!! i can't get over it and i have been here for about 4 months now.! i just can not get over it..

plus i was looking for stuff to get ryan for his birthday [so sad we aren't going to be together.!] and i can not afford to get him anything special. i was thinking an ipod shuffle at first cause he keeps saying he wants an ipod, and they aren't too expensive. but i just can't afford it right now =/and then i was thinking something for when i come down there, but i am not sure..and so it will probably just be some clothes, cause i know he needs some. but seriously, everything is SO expensive.!! i need a job. stat. speaking of which, i figured out how much i should be making this summer, and it is not as much as i was hoping to get, PLUS i will not be there to guard the weekends before camp except ONE. which means no spending money at camp this summer. cool. i am going to work every day i am home at camp so hook better have the ridiculous lists ready. and i am hopefully ganna be babysitting the babies a little bit before i venture down to new orleans. the good thing is that school doesnt start til september 1st, so i will be able to work family camp and make money. and once i start school i will have money.

oh, and one last thing..why can i not be mean.? please someone tell me this.??? why do i always feel the urge to be nice even when people do not deserve it what-so-ever. if anyone has the answer to this question please enlighten me on it. i am dying to know.

i cant wait for homeee. 49 days. i miss my poppa and moms k mucho. and the brudder. who is turning into a manly man according to ryan and my dad [he is working with my daddy this summer cutting grass. lmao-if you know my brother you will think this is funny also] and my baby lions. i cant wait to see them. and AIDEN IS TURNING 5 IN A MONTH. this is not ok. haha. i miss my aiden boyfriend and my kenzieboo. oh i just can not wait to see my familia. and friends. yay for home. =]

peaceout girlscouts.
x crumbs

just a though...

so have you ever looked back on your life and wondered why you loose touch with people. whether they were your other half and unseperable at one point, or if they were just someone you were close with, but it wasn't devestating if you didnt talk every single day.?for me, i have lost a lot of people in my life, both the significant friends and the normal friends. i have always been the one to try and stay in touch with all my friends, because at some point in my life, they were there for me, to pick me up when my world came crashing down, to laugh with me about nothing for hours, to just be myself with.

i thought going to arizona would teach me who my friends were, and it did, i learned who was always going to be there, and who it was only convienent to be friends with when we were close to each other. but coming out here i learned who is going to be there for me no matter where i live, or how hard it is to talk to each other. and it makes me sad in a way when i see people i love slipping away, but i am tired of being the one to always try and keep things alive, ya know.? i want to be the friend who is worth keeping around for people. it just upsets me in some ways, but i know that i have the greatest group of about 6 or 7 people who will always love me and be there for me, and it makes me happy that they have stuck around through all of this.

in other things, i have been thinking about summer. the mess that it appears to be already. well, if i really wanted to, and my parents weren't really in the picture...i could move down to new orleans, and live at ryan's and get a job doing something pointless and making a shit load of money, which i could guarantee would all be spent on us going out and being lame, and things i don't need. but then i think about the last 13 years of my life..the great times i have had, the amazing friends i have met, the things i have done while there, and of course the bad times. and granted, those of you know what happened at camp last summer, it will in a way which i can not describe in words, be difficult to be there at times knowing what happened and being there, but i am not ready yet. i am not ready to say goodbye to the last 13 summers of my life. i am not ready to give up the one constant thing in my life, i am not ready to stop being a kid. in ways i feel like camp is the last bit i have of being a kid. for 7 or 8 weeks i just get to completely be myself. and for me, it is hard to let that come out, especially with not being in the same place for more than 6 months at a time. i just i dont know, as much as i hate the drama and bullshit that comes along with the responsibilites at camp, i need it, at least for one more summer. before i go to this new place once again in my life, i need some stability.

"But summer had a way of making her smile and feel happier. It was sort of amazing how for those months of summer she always believed in herself and all that she could be."

i think that this quote is just me all around. camp had this way of making me believe in myself..and not be afraid to get up in front of people and talk. and to be a leader. and to just let myself be me, and be ok with it. and i just have to smile when i read it because i am always happy in summer. no matter how much drama is going on, or how shitty my unit is, i am still happier than i am any other time of the year...

i was talking to janny about camp, we have just recently become friends, and she was like, the way you talk about this place would make anyone want to go there. she said that my eyes light up and i get excited. and it just makes me laugh.

i don't really know, things are messy in my life. and the only thing i keep thinking is-i wish it was summer and i wish i was at camp. sitting in a canoe or sailboat. singing on the fireplace. swimming in the lake. building a campfire. laughing with my campers. being ridiculous in the counselor cabin..i just when i am upset i want to be there.

oh, ok i am done rambling in like 2 minutes--i am coming home june 10th and i land at like 630 i think. and then i am leaving a week later to go to new orleans for a weeek!!! i am beyond excited to go down there. i have never seen ryan so excited about anything. he gets this ridiculous smile and starts talking fast...he is excited about showing me his life and having me meet everyone down there. he said he has everyday planned out with what we are doing, which is NOT like him at all. hehe. and the only thing i know is we are going to the aquarium down there...YAY! ohh, he makes me so happy.! =]

love from wales,
kellycrumbs

oh god..

i am a mess. i need help. i just don't even know.

one year.

when i woke up one year ago, i went on my computer to check the weather, email and news, like i do most every morning..except that day there was something wrong, since i was in arizona and three hours behind the east coast, there was news all over the internet about the virgina tech shooting. i just sat there. and i got scared, cause one of my really good friends goes to school there. and i was searching for my phone to call her to see if she was ok, and thank god she was. but i remember not wanting to go to class that day cause i just wanted to watch the news, and see what happened.

i just don't understand what makes a person want to kill people, who are innocent people that don't deserve to die, that still have the rest of their lives to live. it just, it blows my mind away when i think about how it could really happen anywhere, and that you aren't even safe at school. i give the students and staff and everyone at virginia tech so much for their stength and their sense of community still. they were able to pull together and not let something so terrible stop them, not let something pull them down, but it made them stronger. i was reading that fall 08 is supposed to exceed fall 07 by at least 200 students, that just shows how virginia tech has come back, and it makes me happy to see that.

i just hope that no one forgets what happened there. and to say that my thoughts are with the everyone there today. especially you fal, i love you. mucho my friend.
virgina tech. neVer forgeT. 04.17.07.

tuesday.

i am fairly certain everything will be ok when i look at these pictures. other than that, who knows where your life will take you.

i just need summer. "But summer had a way of making her smile and feel happier. It was sort of amazing how for those months of summer she always believed in herself and all that she could be." yeah, this quote is me. one hundred percent.

i think if i had my copy of oh the places you'll go, purple green and yellow, and the lorax life would be ok right now.

i am not ok. and i can't even begin to explain why. and i certainly can not on here..

love.

favorite.

this song makes me smile. you should listen to it. it helps me calm down. for sure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh61uElcOck

seriously.?

i think i am having a panic attack. cool. seriously is this happening.?
what did i ever really do to deserve this bullshit in my life.?
i mean, i know i haven't been the nicest person in the world to people i should be.
and i know i've made a few mistakes here and there. but seriously.?
like, i can not breathe right now i am so furious. and flustered and angry.
and to top it all off, one of my favorite bracelets broke today. COOL.
really.? like i feel like i must have killed someone in a past life sometimes.
i need to get out of this continet for like 5 minutes. and then i think i will be ok.

but seriously. what. the. fuck.

ughhh. lets hope that everything is a huge misunderstanding.
cause this freaking out..it is NOT ok.
seriously.

back.

i am back in swansea.
and i have a lot to think about. and do.
greece was awesome. different than i imagined, but it was something i will remember the rest of my life, the whole four weeks will be something i will never forget.

i might be coming home earlier than i thought i was going to be : ] i have to call the airlines and see how much it will cost to change my ticket, but i am hoping i get to. it isn't that i am not having an amazing time, it is just that with staying here 10 extra days and not having anything to do, i will probably be spending ridic amounts of money to stay entertained. but if not, it will still be fun. hopefully sunny so i can lay on the beach those 1o days. haha.

i miss home a lot and have been really upset since tuesday. the end.

greetings from greece :)

i am in Santorini, an island in greece. for those of you who share my love for the Sisterhood of the traveling pants books, you will know that this is the island where Lena spent her summer, and fell in love. i can completely 100% understand how you could fall in love here. everything seems kind of magical. i love it here.

i ahve never seen blues so blue, and the sky so amazing, and the water such a deep color. or the houses like they are here. i am in love with this island and the caldera.

i am leaving today though, off to athens for another 2 days. and then back to london for a night at fidgels :) and finally back to school after a month of straight traveling. i have never been so tired in my life!

but i am so unbelievably lucky to have had this amazing experience. in some ways it is hard to take it all in though, my brain is on complete overload!
i will be sure to write soon about everything..

x kelly.crumbs

just pictures.

florence.
the gondola's
janny melaney me and reagan on the gondola ride.

me in venice
sunseting in venice.

the coliseum. the only picture i have. cause my camera died. but there really are no words to describe it's beauty. drunk in roma. awesomeee.

me outside the Vatican
the pantheon
the castle.
melaney me reagan and janny at trevi fountain.